Mom

When my momma died
I’m not sure she knew
She would.
She was in line
At the grocery.
And just left her body.
Doctor’s were there
And they tried
But she was
Bound and determined
To die

She left just as she did
The last time I saw her
Just before summer vacation
And we hugged and said goodbye
And she was supposed
To come back
But didn’t.

She just chose to quit,
Me.
Like she seemingly quit,
Life.

But no,
She was a hot blooded woman;
Determined,
Strong,
Intelligent,
Beautiful,
Like stop dead in your tracks beauty,
Causing traffic accidents
Beauty.
She was a storm,
Quick,
Furious,
Cyclone,
A Goddess, dangerous,
Fuming.

And as her human child
I’m left just as dumbfounded
As you would be
At how to continue
Not knowing how to be a woman
When birthed from a raging storm.
A Goddess of WAR.
I see my hands after her’s shaped,
Her eyes and mouth in my face,
Her fury in my heart,
At this life.
The deleterious mess
That is humanity
And their blatent and utter
Disrespect.
I feel her ancestral blood boil.
I picture her soul just catching on fire
And raging up in a plume of smoke out of her body,
Back to her kingdom of God’s and Goddess’s
Bored and confused at our disgrace
And no longer amused with our puny lives. Human’s to a Goddess,
Flies.

So half of me rages
Half of me subdued in flesh
Wondering what she was thinking
My Goddess Mother of war,
When she so abruptly left.
And how do I pick up
Her pieces?
The divine misunderstanding
Of temporary life,
How do I stich together
The two halves?
The soul
With the flesh.

-Angel Marie Russell

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